- WHOA where did this chest come from??
- Who invented underwires and were they a masochist??
- "Exercise will make you feel better." Lies.
- I need some cheese RIGHT NOW.
- ...and Blow Pops.
- Why does my house smell like popcorn? We don't even have a microwave! THE NEIGHBOR.
- I can't do the dishes ever again. Food is disgusting.
- Oh look how cute! My belly is growing!
- *crying* Nothing fits and I don't look pregnant, I just look fat!
- I want my cat and dog to be right beside me forever.
- I wish my cat and dog would leave me ALONE.
- Should I eat this or will I regret that choice if it comes back up?
- Why do my tailbone and hips hurt so bad?
- The mango sorbet just ran out. Famine in our household. Sackcloth and mourning.
- (addressing my bed with memory foam pillow and memory foam mattress topper) You're never gonna forget me.
- Am I good at red-flagging troublesome names or just getting really good at making fun of children? (I'm extra sensitive to this because our last name is one letter away from ridicule status--the I and O are next to each other on the keyboard)
Of course, I've also thought about the normal (non-crazy person) things like how to stay healthy, whether it'll be a boy or a girl, and what to name them. I'm officially 14 weeks along and OUT of the first trimester (PRAISE THE LORD) and I feel like I've turned a glorious corner. I may go back into the morning sickness but I'm believing in faith that I'm out of it for good.
Here are a few things that helped get me through all the changes:
1. Genie Bra
My ladies got real big, real fast. I actually had to sit in my car for a few minutes after I reached my destination to put my bra back on because I could not stand to drive with it on. This happened on multiple occasions. The underwires started cutting into my growing abdomen and my boobs rebelled against stiff cages. I hate the way sports bras turn everything into one unit, but this bra has no wires, no hooks, and keeps the girls "locked and loaded" as Clinton Kelly would say.
2. Preggie Pops
Candy that helps relieve morning sickness? Sign me up! I kept a couple of these puppies stashed in my purse at all times. They worked great to help distract me from the nausea and boost my blood sugar when I was feeling faint.
3. The Alternative Guide to Baby Names
Ok, I know it's silly. We were having a bookstore date and Everett picked this up for me. Some of the names are hysterically hipster, but some are adorable! We have definitely gotten a few cute ideas from this book, but it's mostly a great way to pass the time when I'm not bowing before the porcelain throne.
4. 42 Fruits and Vegetables
In addition to the above vitamins, I made a lot of smoothies in our Nutribullet. We bought it together for Valentine's Day rather than going out for a huge date. Since it comes so soon after Christmas and Everett's birthday, we like to spend our money on something that helps us to be healthier rather than on chocolate and little gifts. In the Nutribullet, I put a ton of fruits and veggies and juice, because I figured that if I can get a smoothie down, I'll absorb something quick even if I lose all the contents of my stomach. I added spirulina for a bigger boost (definitely cut it with a lot of sweet fruits) and loved it.
I'm excited to share the next months of my pregnancy here, but I'll go ahead and apologize if you came here looking solely for marriage advice. I can't focus on anything but the baby right now and I haven't been able to really study the stuff I usually address here. I will get back to it at some point but I'm giving you fair warning, baby blasts ahead!